THE UNFADING BEAUTY OF A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
Proverbs 18:22
I am amazed at the number of women who actually think their husbands DO NOT need anything from them. Yes, it’s true; many husbands try to act cool and calm, like they have it all figured out. As men we even try to give our wives the impression that we don't need anything beyond intimacy and a good meal.
We are very good at exhibiting disdain, disinterest, isolation and stoicism.
Wives, I want to tell you a secret: it is all a facade. Inside, most of us are confused about who we are as men and trembling under a deep sense of failure and inadequacy. We've learned a few tricks to keep those things well hidden and we invest a lot of energy in keeping up the act.
But, your husband does need you. He needs you terribly. In fact, he will probably look to you to determine how he feels about himself.
Your husband needs your respect because he is constantly struggling with feelings of self-doubt and failure. As men, we've been designed for achievement and enterprise, but are frustrated by a world that does not cooperate with us. Your husband needs to know that he is enough; that he has what it takes!
He needs you to encourage him, affirm him, and even admire him. Your husband is longing to know that he is competent and desirable in your eyes. A truly successful marrieage is a testimony to the awesome power of a wife's loving embrace and her words of esteem.
Your husband also needs you to have a tranquil, contented spirit. The Bible calls upon you, as a woman of God, to develop “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.”
Another part of the secret I am telling you is that men find a woman who is at peace within herself, one who is confident and happy, to be irresistibly attractive. Your husband needs a wife who loves life and accepts the person God has made her to be. A man's world is filled with competition, injustice, stress, and responsibility. His wife has the incredible power to calm his heart simply by her own God-given tranquility.
If you have developed the habit of being demanding and demeaning toward your husband, this will turn him into a hollow shell of a man. It will kill his heart. It is exactly the opposite of what he needs from you because just when he needs you to affirm him, you kick him when he's down. Just when he needs you to calm him by your tranquil spirit, you heap on the anxiety and bring tension to an already troubled home. You may think that by “keeping after him” your husband will eventually get the message and give you what you want. It won’t. You will only push him farther away.
This Week's Prayer
Lord, please save the marriages that need saving. Save them all through Your undying love and grace. Give husbands the courage to Love as you did Your Church - with their very lives. Give wives the grace to love their husbands with patience and kindness. Amen.
